Home Run
by Beanus
Summary: All it takes is a swing, and you might miss it. Slugger knows, knows it all too well. But how do you miss a swing you never take?
1. Initiation

My name is Slugger. Yes, like the baseball term. Some folks find it funny that I grew up to play for the Ausville Hornets with a name like that, find it funny that a fat guy like me can even play a sport at all. I'll never tell them what I think about it, though. I'll slip up, look stupid in front of everyone. I look the part already, anyway.

I should be focusing on the game right now. Stupid Batter, do something right for once. Tapping the bat against my foot, I felt my face instinctively scrunch up, focusing in for the swing.

We're going up against the Orchid Blossoms, some sort of all-girls team. I don't discriminate, however; they're amazing players, with the most talented, beautiful pitcher I've ever seen. Her name, also ironically, is Pitcher Hoshida. But she's out of my league. I don't want to embarrass myself.

We're tied. If I can get a home run now, it'll all be over. We win, they lose. I wish it didn't have to be like that, though.

She steps up to the pitcher's mound with her mitt, and I can hear my teammates whistling and cheering for her. I say nothing as I stare into her eyes, seeing her resolve falter and her knees quake. Stay strong, give me a good game Hoshida.

 _SWIFF!_ She throws the ball towards the catcher with astounding speed. Swinging my bat with both hands, I hear a satisfying _CRACK!_ as the ball flies over the outfield fence, and the crowd goes wild. Relief floods my mind as I drop the bat.

"YEAH!"

I couldn't help but yell out. Hope I don't look too much like an arrogant prick. Quickly running the bases, I made it to home in minutes, greeting my team. They crowd around me, and I can hear them shouting over the crowd.

"THE AUSVILLE SLUGGER, CREAMIN' THE BITCHES!"

"THAT'LL TEACH 'EM TO MESS WIT THE BEST, YEAH?"

"He'll sure be creamin' 'em later, if you get what I mean!"

They roar with laughter, but I'm having none of it. Slipping away, I start to head off to the locker room while they're still guffawing like morons.

"Ah! W-Who-"

Bumped into someone. Who- _Shit._ It just had to be Pitcher.

Glancing down at her, I cough into my fist. She, however, explodes into apology and stammering, her pink dress thing wildly fluttering. I never understood why her team never settled on a jersey/pants combo like the others. But it makes her special, a special something I'll never get.

"P-P-Please forgive me! S-Say something, please!"

Gaze not faltering, I simply pat her on the shoulder, her look of fear slowly melting away. Good.

"...Watch where you're going."

Nudging her aside, I couldn't help but feel this pain in my chest. I want to protect her, tell her that I won't let anything harm her while I'm still breathing. But what could a fat, lonely baseball player with the face of a thug promise?

* * *

 **A/N:** Never play Rhythm Heaven Fever immediately before going to sleep, you get some pretty interesting ideas from the lucid dreams.

I don't know what possessed me this time to do a Slugger/Pitcher story. I just felt that out of all the crack pairings, I could make this one specifically work. Also, I do know that the Pitcher gets a little cocky if you start doing shit in Exhibition Match and throws a fit if you perfect it, but why not go a little OOC. Not like there's a rich story to follow in Rhythm Heaven.

R/R if you like it/if anyone is even out there, still R/R if you don't.


	2. Landing

It was only a week until I saw her again. It's always the times I don't want her to see me as well, which currently is grocery shopping. That's my 'me' time.

"Ah, aren't you Slugger? From, um, the...t-the..."

"Ausville Hornets."

Starting to walk away, I sighed as I heard the excited tapping of shoes behind me getting closer.

"Y-Yes! Um, you're quite good, you know. Nobody has ever bested my throw so...skillfully, before."

I felt a little pride bubble up in my chest, but I didn't let it show. I actually hope she doesn't keep going on here, I'm busy.

"...Hmm."

"...Not one to talk, Slugger?"

I turned to look at her. She immediately got flustered, and if I was more of an honest person I would've told her that it looked incredibly cute.

"I am not. But I thought that buying dinner didn't need talk."

"S-Sorry! I didn't m-mean to interrupt! I-I just wanted to talk, I s-"

"It's fine. Hey...I might buy for two."

"...Eh?"

Damn, I'm being way too forward right now. Plus, what chances do I even have? Why'd I go and-

"...You mean it?"

"Uh, yeah. So, do you want to come over and have lunch with me?"

Maybe...?

"...I'd love to! Why didn't you ask me sooner, huh?"

Her small hands grasped mine, and I saw a few stares in my direction. I felt my face heat up.

"H-Hey, don't do this here, dummy!"

"Do you know how long I've been waiting, mister?"

"Well, n-no. I mean, I'm...not a looker, so I thought-"

I felt her hand lightly connect with my cheek. It was enough to surprise me, but it didn't hurt.

"Thought I would say no? Slugger, I'm feeling really brave right now, s-so just accept it!"

Just nod. Try to keep from looking too excited, Slugger, you might scare her off.

"...Fine. But you better not slow me down, alright?"

"M-More like, uh, you don't...s-slow me...uh..."

Patting her on the head, I made my way over to the cold isle.

It's going to be one of those nights.

* * *

 **A/N:** Short story, but had fun writing it. Although virtually nobody will read it, at least I managed to eke out a chapter on my favorite crack pairing. Thanks for reading, sorry it was short and kind of mediocre.


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